There is nothing wrong with being extraverted.  More than half of the population is.

Being extraverted means you’re probably more comfortable meeting new people, being in crowds, and making new friends than are more introverted people.  You may be the one that moves a group into action. 

Being extraverted does not mean that you never want time to yourself.  It means that when you feel depleted, you re-energize yourself by spending time with others. 

As an extravert, you are more likely to express how you’re feeling, but you may get confused about what more introverted people are thinking or feeling.  It’s easy to take their silence personally, imagining that they’re snubbing or rejecting you.  This is rarely the case. 

If you are worried or unsure of what an introverted person wants, ask!  You’re not expected to be a mind-reader, and the other person will probably like that you’re interested. 

It’s not your job to make sure the introverted person is enjoying himself.  You can invite that person to join you; if he says no, trust that he is taking care of himself.   When you try to be “helpful” by continuing to draw out someone who has declined your invitations, you can become a hassle to that person.  He may accordingly withdraw further to avoid being “helped” further by you.

It is easy for an extraverted person to feel analyzed or judged by someone who is quieter.  Although it’s true that introverted people tend to be keen observers, he is no more likely to be judging you than is another extraverted person.  Realize that assumptions about an introverted person are nothing more than that until you ask questions to find out whether or not the assumptions are true.

Realize that introverted people tend to be more comfortable in more structured situations where they know what the expectations are.  For example, an introvert may enjoy himself more playing a game or going to a movie than “just hanging out.”  

You may find yourself naturally wanting to make new acquaintances.  This is fine, but don’t forget to follow up on connections with people that you want to know better.  Just as introverts sometimes have to push themselves to increase the number of people they meet, you may need to push yourself to choose only a few of your relationships that you want to deepen.

In general, extraverts can feel insecure when they do no get the response from others that they are expecting or want.  Remember that you are just fine as you are, without approval from anyone else.  Be careful of focusing too much of your self-worth on how others respond to you.

There is nothing wrong with being introverted.  Nearly half of the population is.

As an Introvert, you’re probably a good listener and you notice a lot.  These are valuable skills that people admire.  Building deep, trusting relationships is probably easier for you than it is for more extraverted people.  You may be more independent and more content doing things on your own.

Being introverted doesn’t mean you never want to have fun, be loud, or socialize.  It just means that the way you relax and refuel is to have time by yourself. 

Having time to yourself is essential.  Make sure you have this time; explain to those around you if you must that being by yourself is not about them.  It’s about you re-charging so you can be in the world.

It’s O.K. to want to do your own thing.  It’s O.K. to want to be alone or with just one or two other people.  It’s O.K. to be at a social event and not say much.   It’s O.K. to do something different from what the rest of the group is doing.

As an introvert, you are less likely than extraverts to express how you’re feeling.  That’s O.K., but it means that the people around you may have to guess about what’s going on inside you.  And they often guess incorrectly.  Introverts have to put up with being thought as shy, angry, proud, stuck-up, sad, strange, serene, judgmental,  uptight, tired, out of it, or socially awkward.

Of course, you may at any given time be feeling one of more of these emotions, but it is annoying to have others assume that is what you’re feeling.  Unfortunately, if you don’t tell others what’s on your mind, they’re going to make assumptions.

You may feel pressured to act a certain way rather than do what you want because you’re worried about offending or disappointing others.  Doing so makes you resentful and withdrawn, and the whole problem gets worse.

To avoid feeling resentful of or controlled by others, accept that being introverted is O.K.  Others will look to you to see how comfortable you are in your own skin.  If they sense that you think your introversion is a problem, then they’ll see it similarly.  If you seem at ease, then they probably will be too.

When going to a party, remember that few people immediately start having fun.  Give every party 20 minutes; if at the end of that time, you still are uncomfortable, then you may leave but not before.

From time to time, you may have to reassure others that you’re O.K. and that you don’t need anything.  As obvious as this seems to you, it will probably be news at least to some people.

Expect that others will sometimes misinterpret what you’re feeling.  If you can, respond lightly and non-defensively: “No, I’m not sad.  I’m just thinking about some things.  So tell me more about that test you took.”

Smile—not all the time but probably more often than you’d like.  Introverts tend to be into their own experience and forget that a neutral expression can look like something’s wrong to others.

Take the lead when in a group that is deciding what to do, proposing an idea of something you’d like. You probably feel more comfortable doing group activities when there is some structure.  In that way you don’t come across as a nay-sayer. 

Remember that extraverted people re-charge by being with others.  So the extraverted friend who persistently asks you to do things is not necessarily nagging you.  He may be asking you to be a part of his re-charging.  You are under no obligation to accept that invitation, but realize that the gesture almost certainly is not an attempt to be annoying, controlling, or hostile.

How much unnecessary grief do we give ourselves and others for falling short of these mythical standards?  When we let ourselves be disappointed repeatedly by a friend’s not acting as we would wish her to, we are like a gardener who keeps faulting his daffodils for not being tulips.  The gardener misses the unique beauty of the daffodils, and he wastes time that he could spend in finding the tulips he seeks.

In addition, when we feel we have been negligent as a friend, it’s easy to let the guilt cause us to avoid the person toward whom we have been negligent.  And so we create a vicious cycle and a self-fulfilling prophecy: instead of making the most of the yearly phone call we do feel like making, we berate ourselves for not calling monthly and make it all the more likely that we won’t call at all.

I am of course not saying that friendship should be free of expectation or accountability.  But imagine how much better life would be if I could think of a friend and think fondly of the times we have pizza together rather than wishing she would ask me more about my family.

For awareness always takes place in the present.  It opens up possibilities for action.  Routine and habits are established functions, and any need to change them requires that they should be brought into the focus of awareness afresh.  The mere idea of changing them presupposes the possibility of alternative ways of thinking and acting.  Without awareness, there is no cognition of choice.  Awareness, contact, and present are merely different aspects of one and the same process–self-realization.  It is here and now that we become aware of all our choices, from small pathological decisions (is this pencil lying straight enough?) to the existential choice of devotion to a cause or avocation.

The client who takes an active role in learning all she can about herself, the relationship with the therapist, and the tools the therapist is giving her makes the process come to life.  At the same time, she is teaching the therapist about herself.  So she is student and teacher simultaneously.

The therapist too is both student and teacher.  When I am working with someone, I am excited about the opportunity to instruct the client about using the tools my training and experience have given me.  And I am a student of the individual in front of me.  No matter how much training I have had, this person is unique.  It is quite possible that I am mistaken when I think I understand what she is saying.  And so therapy becomes a dialog of instruction, and the more actively involved each participant is, the livelier the therapy is and the more quickly the two of us move to new discoveries.